That Dance

If I could have stayed,
would you have asked me to dance?
If I stayed,
would you have asked for my hand?
If I stayed,
are we still going to be like this today?

If I said yes,
would you have stayed?
If I stood up,
would you have offered your hand?
If we’re not being like this today,
are we still going to be in touch?

I do not know the answers,
so are you
I do not have any clues,
so are you
But if you did & I said yes,
would all of these be better?

Neon & Lights

We should have seen it in neon
It was in monochrome
We should have said yes to all of it
Although maybe it is the most probable
We should have been more sure
Although in reality, we always do not know

Feet were always in synch
Hands always in touch
Moves were all sure
Eyes all transparent
Minds intact
Words are always sure

But we’re young;
Playful & all

Just like a flicker
Just like a light
On & off,
Just like our hearts

The Reminder

What the world doesn’t know about me;

Is that
I also breathe
That the air also fills my lungs
That my lungs and wholeness needs a space

I am also
a human being
expose to hurt
vulnerable to laugh

An Existence
That you can touch
That you can hold
That you can shatter

Doubt

Note: I woke up and tried to sleep again only to realize that I am rhyming inside my head and I can’t go back to sleep until I put something down on paper. So, here is the result of my failed attempt to go back to sleep this morning. The feeling is semi-frustrating and I hope you’ll enjoy what my head come up with while it sabotaged my sleep.

I doubt myself
I doubt myself if I can still go on tomorrow
If can still recall names
If I can still wire through the thoughts that has been bubbling in my head

The grasp of ideas that evaporates so seamlessly, it fades
Anywhere, Anyhow
Those what-not’s that has been lingering sometimes
But assures that if somehow they survive they will make it – TOP, headlines

The un-sureness that embraces me, hugs me ever tightly
It makes me shiver
The cold of uncertainty is certain
And the sureness if you will make it or not is effervescent, it dissolves to nothingness

That is where I am most afraid of
If tomorrow brings me somewhere
Or if it will leave here, nowhere

I doubt myself
In the most doubtful ways you’ll know

 

Absinthe

I fumble
Mumbling different faults
Untying semi-secluded emotions
Then tumbled
I tried and waited for your effect
I was gone,
Gone to the abyss of your memory
YOU ARE THERE
Prying glances on me
Judging of what I have become
Then I took another sip

But you were fading
Walking away
I was left
I waited for the glass to be filled
Another one beside me
She just stared
From the bottle then back to me
She smiled
Then laughed at what I looked like
She was you again
I quit

I took the last drop
Throwing papers and coins
Trying hard to get up
The door
I walked out
Then slumped on the sidewalk
Crying at what I have become
Tugging my emotions out
Then I saw my self walk to me
It said: “Come on, Let’s go home”

Happy Birthday!

It always feel like a suicide;
Falling as endless into a bleeding halt
Brimming as infinite
Scolding as loud
Seeing as clear

It always feel like breaking;
Shattering into slithers
Cracking into fractures
Pieces everywhere

It always feel like crying;
Drops of emotions escaping
Waters rolling uncontrollably

It always feel like anger;
A blast.

It will always feel like your Birthday.

My Failed NaPoWriMo Attempt

Sa yah, I haven’t finished (er. I also started late) NaPoWriMo’s challenge to write a poem every day for the rest of April.
I would not mention my reasons ’cause they’re a bit personal and it involves my family but maybe next year? right?

It was a lot of fun though and very challenging.
Yah, let’s look at it on the bright side,
Things will be okay and I will definitely, DEFINITELY, complete NaPoWriMo next year.

Kudos to the NaPoWriMo team ’cause once in a year we, poets, have the chance to meet and somehow know each other.
It gives a cozy and warm feeling that you are not the only one in the world who loves to rhyme and make people feel what you are feeling and express your self using patch of words.

To the poets whom I have (somehow) knew because of this once in a year event, I hope to still get in touch with all of you and to all the poets, Read you! (’cause “see you” is a bit impossible). Until next NaPoWriMo-ing!

=)

Monologue (alternate title: Patches of Things in My Head)

What?
Get Up!
It’s like 8!
You lazy, lazy head

You should just get a job
Stop bumming around

Parents. Parents.
They’re growing old

I should probably get a job
No?

Why?
Should I just stare at it?
Let all these time pass?

Maybe it’s not passing
Maybe I am really doing something

Someone’s at the door
Job offer?

Nahh, mailman
Always the mailman

Twitter, Facebook
Friends telling me to move

Who told them I’m doing nothing?
I am actually up to something

Days, days
It passes

Life, my life
It’s being constructed
In my head
In me dealing with it
with people.

People judging me.

I should shut my mouth
the one in my head
shut theirs,
shut the judgmental mouths inside them all.

NaPoWriMo Day 13 – Post #4