Reasons To End It

I know why they want to end it;
I understand
I know life is precious
but as you say “He knows how yours is going to end”
Well, judging and telling which was wrong is wrong in itself
I think I know why the next person wants to end it
I am in that situation;
Everything just gets in the way
People
Friends
Family
Even thoughts
They, you, I and even an it gets in the way
Sometimes you just want it to dissolve

Peace;
For once, people like us wants to know how genuine that feels like
What breeze and never being cold, sad, frightened and scared feels like
We miss how those who feel calm feels like
Because even in the most silent moments you feel the extremest of all the extremes
You drown on drought
You dry on rain
You shiver in summer
You sunbathe in winter
It is always low, lower or lowest
And on most nights it is Halloween
-Halloween on steroids
You don’t even see ghosts
You are no psychic
But it creeps
It creeps within your soul

People say we are unhappy
But have you seen us in our most hyperactive moments?
We do feel happy
I feel excited
it’s just…
it will never last
It is there on a second;
The next thing you know,
you are again alone
How not to feel alone?
How not to fall back?

Most of us have gigantic trust issues
Most of us are afraid of people
Most of us are unchanging
Because most of us are hurt
I always try to solve my self
All the things that are ‘wrong’ with me
Trying to consider the ‘right’ state of things
I want to try sometimes
But no ones there
People always want me to take a step back
Life is filled with what ifs
I am always left to wonder

As I lock my self again
I hope someone would try to find me
I wish the world would just shake itself and let me drop from this box I am in
I wonder how many more white spaces needs my words before they think that I am really stuck
I am stuck
I don’t know where to go
I don’t even know what to feel
I just want all of these thoughts to end
I just want you to listen that this is real
People feels like this
And I don’t want you stuck
I want you alive and feel peace for me
Please feel free for me
I want you to feel the breeze that I never come to feel